Date: 10/14/25 3:22 pm From: Matt S. <accipiter22...> Subject: Re: [MASSBIRD] Fwd: [NHBirds] The passing of Don Stokes
I am so sorry to hear this. The Guides to Bird Behavior were seminal in my
development as a birder. I still remember finding A Guide to Bird Behavior
Volume II at this store in Northampton, A2Z Science and Nature Store, back
when it was still in Thornes Market. As soon as I read the description,
something in me just clicked. I was probably 9 or 10, and I already loved
birds. I had been observing them at my feeders and in my neighborhood and
taking notes. I felt like there was something more I could be doing in my
observations though; I tried tracking patterns of visits, interactions,
etc. I did not know it at the time, but in a way I guess it was a
proto-scientific attempt at behavior observation. I wanted to know WHY the
birds were doing what they were doing, and how they interacted with their
environment, and each other. Watching nests and families getting raised
was the pinnacle of birding to me, and honestly still is. But I did not
have a text, or a guide, something that would help me interpret what I was
seeing, or tell me if what I observed was a regular behavior or not. Even
the context sometimes could be confusing. But I was not discouraged, I was
ravenous to know more.
When I picked up that book and started reading through; reading the
accounts of the behavior, song, nesting, courtship, migration, molting,
etc. etc. etc. I knew I had found exactly what I had been looking for.
There were birds I had never seen before, and ones I had. I read through
the whole thing front to back, and then did it again and again and again.
I colored the black & white illustrations of the birds at the start of each
species section. I started putting things together, connecting it with
what I saw out in my yard. I did not think I could be any more interested
in birds than I already was, but I was wrong. The Cardinal section was
particularly impactful, they were easy to spot, and we had pairs that
regularly interacted and displayed in our backyard, and gave various calls
that I had been tracking. I put together the "life history" of those
backyard cardinals based on what I was reading, and through more
observations over the seasons. There was a display they do, which the
Stokes Guide called "lopsided pose", which I had never seen before. Then
one day, several months after getting the guide, the male started doing it
at the feeder, they sort of hold out a wing and lean. It looked like a
vagrant opening a trench coat to show you a bunch of stolen watches it was
trying to sell you. I would have never known what that display meant, but
as soon as I saw it, my mom and I both knew what it was (I had shown her
the illustration of the pose previously).
On subsequent trips, some time later, I found volumes I and volumes III of
the guides, and was overjoyed. This was pre-Amazon, so I did not know how
to find them, but was glad I did. Volume I had been very common birds that
were easy for folks to see, generally (pigeons, starlings, chickadees,
etc.) Volume II had some more birds that were common but maybe ever so
slightly less observed, or in lower numbers (orioles, cardinals), and then
Volume III was things like raptors and birds that were most definitely NOT
easy to find or observe. I loved every volume. I still do. It gives me
something to look for when I go out and see something. The calendars that
show when certain parts of the species' lifecycle is happening always
filled me with anticipation; you adjusted it back a couple weeks if you
lived in Massachusetts, and I was eager each year for courtship or fledging
or migration to begin for the different birds around me.
To this day when I am out leading walks, or just bump into folks and we are
observing something, or walking with my daughter and see a bird doing
something, I point out little behaviors it is doing and why. The thing is,
all these years later, decades even (how can that be??) with all the
information we have now at our fingertips, everything in these volumes
still applies. They're ageless. What's more, the behaviors I have been
able to point out, most people I am with were not aware of before, or did
not know there was "intention" behind it. Those little moments of being
able to point out these behaviors give depth to the lives of these
creatures. They're not just in the background, they're living lives just
like us, and those Guides are the manual to those lives.
If you do not have a copy of the set, I cannot recommend picking it up and
going through all three volumes; you'll probably learn at least a few
things about the birds around you that you did not already know.
I love Lillian's message, and the raven as well. I always hope that
whenever I pass, at my funeral, or somewhere near those that I love, some
birds will gather to give comfort, and maybe some folks there will take an
interest in birds, one last nudge from the beyond.
Thank you Don and Lillian for everything, I owe a great debt to both of
you.
Matt s.
Newton, NH
<Accipiter22...>
On Mon, Oct 13, 2025 at 5:53 AM Leslie Kramer <kramer.lf...> wrote:
>
>
> ---------- Forwarded message ---------
> From: 'Steve Mirick' via NHBirds <nhbirds...>
> Date: Sun, Oct 12, 2025 at 7:03 PM
> Subject: [NHBirds] The passing of Don Stokes
> To: NHBirds <nhbirds...>
>
>
> It is with great sadness that I post the passing of Don Stokes. Don and
> Lillian lived in SW New Hampshire in latter years and for a while and I
> believe were somewhat regular on Pack Monadnock. I can not add to the
> fantastic tribute given to him by his wife Lillian.
>
> Steve Mirick
> Bradford, MA
>
>
> 10/7/25 - On a beautiful October day, after a
> harvest-full-moon-Great-Horned-Owls-calling night, my beloved husband, Don,
> age 78, died, then a Raven flew over my head. After a long 9-year decline,
> Don died of Lewy Body Dementia in a dementia facility he had been in for
> three plus years. I was with him in the afternoon, and even though he was
> unconscious, I think he heard me when I asked for two things: that he wait
> to die until my daughter got there (she did, and my son had visited in the
> morning) and that he send me a Raven, his favorite bird, after he died.
> After I had visited him, I had to run an errand, and my daughter, who was
> with him, then called to say he was gone. I drove back, and when I pulled
> into the parking lot and got out of the car, a Raven swooped down, flew low
> right over my head, and landed briefly on a nearby building, and then was
> gone. Rest in peace, Don, may you fly with the Ravens.
>
> You all know him as a loving, kind, humorous, gifted teacher and deeply
> spiritually connected to nature. In place of a formal obit, let me tell you
> some things about Don you may or may not know.
>
> Don was born in Philadelphia into a Quaker family and went to Germantown
> Friends School, then Swarthmore College, majoring in Comparative Religions.
> He was a talented musician who could sing, play the piano, and was an
> excellent tabla hand drum player. He even spent time in Calcutta, India,
> studying with a tabla guru there.
>
> After college, Don moved to Berkeley, California, and in the hills kept
> careful and beautiful journals of the nature he encountered. He soon
> realized he was seeing things that little was known about. That planted the
> seed that later led him to begin writing about nature. After returning to
> Massachusetts, he taught at the Warehouse Cooperative School, where he met
> Bill Phillips, an editor at Little, Brown and Company/Hachette, whose
> daughter attended the school. Bill accepted Don's first book, Nature in
> Winter, and went on to become Don's editor for many years.
>
> Don then began teaching at the Massachusetts Audubon Society and was in
> the process of writing a bird behavior guide when he met Lillian (already
> an avid hawk-watcher who came from a background in animal behavior and
> psychiatric social work), who took his course on Bird Behavior. As they
> say, the rest is history. Don and Lillian got married and over more than 30
> years produced 35 Stokes Guides, including 3 volumes on bird behavior
> (instrumental in introducing a holistic approach to birds), backyard books
> such as the Bird Feeder, Hummingbird, and Bluebird books, beginner's
> guides, and the national The Stokes Field Guide to Birds of North America.
> Stokes' books have sold over 6 million copies. Don and Lillian produced and
> hosted the first PBS national television series on birds, Birdwatch with
> Don and Lillian Stokes, as well as Stokes Birds at Home, which 40 million
> viewers saw. They gave keynote talks and taught at birding festivals and
> Audubon societies across the country for many years. They were Duck Stamp
> Judges and received a Partners in Flight National Conservation Award. Don
> belonged to many nature and conservation organizations, including the
> Nuttall Ornithological Club.
>
> Befitting his beautiful, spiritual side, Don was a student of Haiku
> poetry, writing it for many years. Here is a fitting example.
>
> Entering the wilds
>
> Equipped to look at nature –
>
> Wait! I am nature.
>
> Don will be buried at Mt. Auburn Cemetery in MA (a famous birding hotspot)
> on Goldfinch Path (how fitting!!). There will be a private family
> Celebration of Life as per his wishes. If you would like to do something in
> remembrance of Don, send a contribution to the nature, birding, or
> conservation organization of your choice. Thank you.
>
> Lillian Stokes
>
>
>
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